Yet again we have decided that my husband will work and I will stay home with the kids as soon as possible. This means a lot of things. It means that Morrel will be cutting down on classes so that he can work full time, and it means I have to come to terms with quitting a job I love (although I do NOT love it as much as I HATE being away from my kids). It also means that the car we were hoping to sell in order to catch up on bills has to stay, so that we can each have a car until I start staying home. It means that my husband's dreams of finishing school and becoming a pastor are put on hold so that my dream of being a stay at home mom and teaching my kids and caring for them and our home are suddenly "more important". So, why am I not as happy and excited as I should be? I feel like it is my fault that he can't finish school. I feel selfish. I feel like I just don't know how I feel.
So I am going to be grateful. Even before I can stay home (which will be sometime in May) I am going to start taking care of this house, and our kids like there is no tomorrow. I am going to be the mom and wife I want to be and stop waiting until I can stay home. If I start taking care of my end, then my husband will not feel so reluctant to work. And maybe if I can be thrifty enough as the homemaker we can eventually just live off of his housing allowance and VA Benefits. That would be fabulous! That way he can do school full time again.
So here is my TO DO LIST for the time being:
Keep the house CLEAN!
Plan menus by the week and save on groceries!
Keep laundry done and give away unused clothes!
Take care of the kids and stop asking for so much help from Morrel!
Wake up at 7am EVERY morning!
Spend the first 15 minutes of my morning in devotion and prayer!
Exercise at least 3 times per week!
Rely on my husband and put my faith in him regarding decisions and our future!
I may not be able to start all this at once, but I will work on all of them, and I may add more each week that I realize I'm falling short. I am determined to be this kind of woman. I will outdo myself.
You are so blessed to be a SAHM (stay at home mom). The early years are extremely important in child rearing: bonding, self-esteem, morality. We are lucky to have blogs for support because it can get a little lonely being a SAHM. But your children are very fortunate. You might enjoy my blog with tips for preschoolers and kindergartners. I'm your first follower! Saw your comment on Moms Loop.
ReplyDeleteThis is wonderful. I know you are feeling selfish but I bet he is feeling great about being able to provide for his family and knowing you will be taking care of your children and raising them as God intended. Countdown to May begins... :)
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