A Picture of God from Red

What happens when you listen to Christian music almost exclusively for a year and a half? Apparently what happens to this girl is that I go to buy a song from one of my favorite secular artists' new album and in my brain, turn it Christian. It's not a bad thing. My favorite song from Taylor Swift's new album Red, "The Last Time", can hurt if it reminds you of an old or current love, but the lyrics can be heartbreaking if it reminds you of God's love.

Maybe the lyrics speak to me in this way because I've been reading a book called Pursued by a Relentless God in which the author, Shawn Brace, explores the grace of God in a new light--or at least a light I've never explored or realized.

An interesting trend in modern spirituality seems to be an inclination toward mysticism, in which Christians are seeking God through various forms of prayer and meditation. Some people feel the only way to get close to God is to empty their minds and disconnect from their physical bodies through repetitive prayers and chants.

This is not a thesis about the dangers of contemplative prayers. I am just using this as an example because it is a hot issue in Christian circles. There are many examples of Christians attempting to get closer to God. One example is legalism; another is the participation in a pilgrimage. There are many ways in which we attempt to bring ourselves closer to God.

But what I'm learning through reading this book and studying God's Word is that God is already close to me.
He is pursuing me.

Think about that. Think about every way you have tried to sabotage your own salvation by pursuing mindless whims. Think about your life, however long. My life has been a long road of 26 years. Some may not think it long, but when you take into account all the mountains and valleys (many of which I placed in my own way), it has been a long journey. Now think about God's pursuit of you. How often did you find God when you sought him? I will be honest and say, most the time I was seeking God, I couldn't see Him, because my sin was in my way. All the times that I found God, it was because He was there, waiting for me. 

With that in mind, read over this selection of lyrics from Taylor Swift's "The Last Time" and imagine that they are God's words to us:
"I find myself at your door,
Just like all those times before,
I’m not sure how I got there,
All roads they lead me here.
I imagine you are home,
In your room, all alone,
And you open your eyes into mine,
And everything feels better.
I'm right before your eyes,
I’m breaking.
No thoughts, no reasons why,
Just you and me…
This is the last time I’m asking you this-
Put my name at the top of your list,
This is the last time I’m asking you why,
You break my heart in the blink of an eye, eye, eye…
You find yourself at my door,
Just like all those times before,
You wear your best apology,
But I was there to watch you leave.
And all the times I let you in,
Just for you to go again,
Disappear when you come back,
Everything is better."

It being a secular song, not all of it 'fits', but this section really gets me thinking about God's pursuant love for us. If you haven't heard this song, it's a duet. The male character pursues the girl, ends up at her door. The female character keeps letting him in and letting him hurt her. That's generally how heartbreak works.

But God plays both parts. Not only does he pursue us relentlessly, ending up at our door time and again (Rev 3:20), but He also waits patiently for us to come to Him time and again "wearing our best apology", and once we've gotten what we want we leave.

The patience by which God waits for us comes from the Greek word makrothumia. The word originates from makros (long, far, distant) and thumos (an outburst of passion). This type of patience driven by the passion of God Himself is enough for Him not only to pursue us, but to keep letting us return.

It is the patience of a father when his child leaves the nest, makes terrible decisions, squanders love and money, and returns...again.

It is the patience of a mother, a phone call away, waiting for the need to arise, waiting to swoop in to the rescue.

Something I've learned about parents is that they pursue their children. They will also watch them leave again and again.

God is the same.

Because that patience is of God. His love, mercy, and passion drives that patience. No matter how many times I land on His doorstep, I can rest assured that He spent the night on mine. No matter how many times I break His heart by walking away, I imagine Him one step behind me.

How can I not love a God like that?